Signs your relationship is over
RealBuzz
Do you feel
like you're stuck in a relationship rut but aren't sure whether things will
ever change? It's normal for relationships to hit the odd rocky patch, but if
you experience three or more of the signs below and 'the chat' hasn't resolved
anything, it's often a sign that the fat lady has sung and Elvis has well and
truly left the building. In other words, it's over
Sign that it could be over 1: Incompatible goals for the future
They say
that opposites attract, but when you want children and your other half panics
at the mere mention of parenthood, or your partner wants to immigrate to
another country and you want to stay put, this kind of opposition can cause a
problem. Whilst it's possible to work through such mis-matched goals and reach
a fair agreement that both parties are happy with, sometimes it's hard to do
that without thwarting your – or your partner's – dreams. Perhaps the most
unhealthy thing you could do to your relationship at this point is try to
persuade one another to sacrifice future plans in order for you to stay
together. Not only is this selfish, but more often than not it leads to
feelings of resentment between you and your other half, which often results in
a break-up anyway. If there's no compromise and you feel as though your plans
for the future are being jeopardised, it's probably best to part ways for the
sake of your freedom and happiness.
Sign that it could be over 2:
Sneaking around
The key
to a great relationship is honesty and trust, so if your partner is sneaking
around then it defeats the object of being in an intimate relationship and you
need to tackle the problem head on. Go about it carefully though; following
him/her into town to 'catch them in the act' only to find that they were
purchasing your surprise birthday present could lead to all sorts of
complications, and you don't want to risk being the embarrassed guilty party.
Instead, it's a good idea to communicate with a secretive partner to make it
clear that you've noticed they're up to something and you're offended that they
couldn't talk to you about it. If you still feel like your other half is up to
something, it might be a good idea to call it a day on your relationship as the
trust barrier has clearly been broken.
Sign that it could be over 3:
No special gestures
After
weeks or months of being wooed by your other half in the early stages of a
relationship, when the dust begins to settle it can feel as though Cupid has
disappeared off the face of the earth and suddenly you're stuck in a
relationship rut. We're not expecting to be swept off our feet and taken away
to an exotic island to be showered in expensive gifts, but many couples often
lose sight of the small romantic gestures that make the relationship feel that
bit more special. If special gestures are sparse in your romance, this by no
means suggests that it's over; you may just need to make a little more effort
to be romantic – suggest more things to do together and the problem should be
resolved in no time. However, if after a conversation you realise that all
romantic gestures have stopped because you no longer feel as strongly for your
partner as you once did, this is a sign that your relationship should come to
an end.
Sign that it could be over 4:
You can't seem to leave the past in
the past
Relationships
where the past can't seem to be left where it belongs are often a recipe for
disaster. If you're having an argument, respond appropriately to what is
happening here and now, not what happened six weeks ago. Granted – past issues
can cause an underlying problem in the relationship if they are never spoken
about, but once a problem has been addressed it's time to move on from it. It's
a common deal-breaker in relationships to keep bringing up past issues during
an argument to use as ammunition against your other half. If you can't learn to
forgive and forget – or your partner can't learn to forgive and forget a
mistake that you have made – then it might be time to cut all ties and start
afresh.
Sign that it could be over 5:
You're constantly bickering
Arguing
is a natural way to get things off your chest and emphasise what's upsetting or
annoying you to improve your relationship in the long-run, but when things have
soured to the point that you spend more of your time arguing than not, it's
often time to raise the red flag. Healthy relationships are about having good
conversations and being happy when you're around your other half, not
constantly being surrounded by negativity and feeling angry or upset. Don't be
tempted to stick together when all you do is fight; as easy as this is to do,
you will end up feeling even more miserable in the long run.
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